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Former booker and writer Vince Russo has finally come clean about his 20-year battle with depression.
He finally mentioned it for the first time in his latest blog. Russo recently announced that he was distancing himself (but not retiring from) professional wrestling. He claimed that too many veterans within the industry were blaming him for their own mistakes. He felt that if he publicly set the record straight on most matters, it could affect his employ-ability within the industry. The aim of this new blog was to allow him to publicly give his side on many of the accusations that have been made against him.
Already, he had used the blog to admit that he had indeed been working secretly as an advisor with TNA Wrestling. He claimed that he had been asked by TNA to keep his employment secret, which was why he angrily denied internet reports of the contract. He had not been to a single TNA event during his recent contract.
If Russo is telling the truth about his depression, then he had been suffering the condition throughout his entire professional wrestling career.
His latest blog can be read below. Despite all of the criticism we have given Russo over the years, we wish our OSR commentator well, and hopes he makes a full recovery.
<div class='spoiler_toggle'>Russo's blog</div><div class="spoiler" style="display:none;">
There are many reasons why I started this website, some obvious–some not so much. At the top of the list was my longing to just finally have my own voice. Sit down at my computer any time I want, and have the freedom to discuss what’s ever on my mind. Batman 1966, Rihanna, Wrestling, Bray Wyatt, my love for female rockers of the 80′s–whatever. Just share my feelings, opinions and thoughts, and if I put a smile on your face–-great–-it was all worth it.
I wanted to have the freedom to talk about my Christianity, the one thing that has brought me out of many deep, dark valleys throughout my lifetime. My internal, and external fight to glorify my Savior, Jesus Christ each and every day. And, it’s work, man, it’s the hardest job I’ve ever had in my life. I go in and out from the darkness to the light, like that poor little Carol Ann from Poltergeist, remember her? And, through this journey, I also wanted to share something with you that I’ve been battling since my 20s, and I know that many of you do as well–depression.
Depression has been a fixture in my life since I graduated college back in 1983. It seems like over night I went from “Roscoeâ€, the beloved fraternity brother and Vice President of Sigma Tau Gamma, to marriage, a co-op, a job that I hated, bills, anxiety, and every other BAD thing that went with responsibility. At the beginning, I thought I was going to lose my wife–-I was afraid that Amy was going to think that I was losing my mind. I wouldn’t go to a doctor, because I didn’t want to go on meds–-I knew that would make it worse. This nightmare went on with me for four years until my son Will was born. At that time I had to wake myself the F up, because I knew another human being was now dependant on me.
Unfortunately, even with the birth of Will–-the depression never went away. I can’t remember one day where I actually woke up and felt “goodâ€â€“I just didn’t know what that felt like. I had two video stores go out of business when I was barely 30 thanks to Blockbuster. I became unemployed, I sold appliances to make ends meat. Then the big break with the WWE–-my problems were solved. That was until I found myself on the road every week, in a strange hotel room by myself, feeling totally alienated from my family, and the few friends I still had. You know the rest—WCW-–Bash at the Beach-–TNA—and the absolute scrutiny that goes with the professional wrestling business. As the years passed, the depression just always seemed to get worse, I never felt good, and just always had thoughts of dying. That is hard for me to type here–-but, it’s the truth. Then, when I walked away from TNA nearly 2 1/2 years ago–-it just hit rock bottom for me. There was just no place left to go in a business that I had worked in for 20 years. I prayed every night that God just allow me to see the next day, and it was only through his grace that I did. As I sit here typing this right now, right this minute–-I’m in the same exact place.
I share all this with you, because I know that many of you are in a similar situation. Life sucks, it really does, and unless you structure your existence set on a solid foundation–-life will get you–-it will destroy you. I’m not going to insert God here, that is your choice. I wasn’t a believer until well into my 40s. I get the doubt–-I understand. What this is about is those around you who can save you. Who can make you feel like you are somebody, like you are special, like you are wanted. All our lives are infested with people who bring us down, who take advantage of our good nature, who take us for granted, who at the end of the day can’t give you a “thank youâ€, or a, “you are appreciatedâ€. And the sad thing is–-that doesn’t cost anybody anything. It is just there for all of us to give.
If nothing else, as you go through your day tomorrow, really look closely at those who are around you–-who are part of your life. Are they helping you? Are they building you up? Are they giving you their unconditional love without wanting a single thing back in return? Because, if they aren’t–-then what are they there for? If they aren’t there to make you a better person by the time the sun sets–then what exactly are they adding to your life? Nobody needs people around them that are going to bring them down–-nobody. Just today, I took a long look around at my surroundings and I asked myself–-who in my life TRULY gives a shit about me? Truly? My wife, my kids, my dog, my parents–-who else? Who has lifted me up today? Who has made me feel like a total failure? Who really has an interest in my well-being–-and is not completely obsessed with their own? WHO?
It saddens me to know the truth, and it depresses me. That’s why I have to wake up tomorrow morning and NOT BE THAT PERSON. I have to touch base with those I know who need to hear from me. I have to put others first–-no matter how difficult that is simply because it’s not in our nature. I have to be the example. It has to start with me. But, I’m not going to do it surrounded by those who don’t make me feel “specialâ€, who make me feel like a failure, insignificant–-nothing.
If you have people like that in your life–-you don’t need them. While at the same token–-you can’t be one of them either. Love and respect those around you–-every second, of every day, because in that very moment–-you may be the one turning their darkness into light.
</div>
He finally mentioned it for the first time in his latest blog. Russo recently announced that he was distancing himself (but not retiring from) professional wrestling. He claimed that too many veterans within the industry were blaming him for their own mistakes. He felt that if he publicly set the record straight on most matters, it could affect his employ-ability within the industry. The aim of this new blog was to allow him to publicly give his side on many of the accusations that have been made against him.
Already, he had used the blog to admit that he had indeed been working secretly as an advisor with TNA Wrestling. He claimed that he had been asked by TNA to keep his employment secret, which was why he angrily denied internet reports of the contract. He had not been to a single TNA event during his recent contract.
If Russo is telling the truth about his depression, then he had been suffering the condition throughout his entire professional wrestling career.
His latest blog can be read below. Despite all of the criticism we have given Russo over the years, we wish our OSR commentator well, and hopes he makes a full recovery.
<div class='spoiler_toggle'>Russo's blog</div><div class="spoiler" style="display:none;">
There are many reasons why I started this website, some obvious–some not so much. At the top of the list was my longing to just finally have my own voice. Sit down at my computer any time I want, and have the freedom to discuss what’s ever on my mind. Batman 1966, Rihanna, Wrestling, Bray Wyatt, my love for female rockers of the 80′s–whatever. Just share my feelings, opinions and thoughts, and if I put a smile on your face–-great–-it was all worth it.
I wanted to have the freedom to talk about my Christianity, the one thing that has brought me out of many deep, dark valleys throughout my lifetime. My internal, and external fight to glorify my Savior, Jesus Christ each and every day. And, it’s work, man, it’s the hardest job I’ve ever had in my life. I go in and out from the darkness to the light, like that poor little Carol Ann from Poltergeist, remember her? And, through this journey, I also wanted to share something with you that I’ve been battling since my 20s, and I know that many of you do as well–depression.
Depression has been a fixture in my life since I graduated college back in 1983. It seems like over night I went from “Roscoeâ€, the beloved fraternity brother and Vice President of Sigma Tau Gamma, to marriage, a co-op, a job that I hated, bills, anxiety, and every other BAD thing that went with responsibility. At the beginning, I thought I was going to lose my wife–-I was afraid that Amy was going to think that I was losing my mind. I wouldn’t go to a doctor, because I didn’t want to go on meds–-I knew that would make it worse. This nightmare went on with me for four years until my son Will was born. At that time I had to wake myself the F up, because I knew another human being was now dependant on me.
Unfortunately, even with the birth of Will–-the depression never went away. I can’t remember one day where I actually woke up and felt “goodâ€â€“I just didn’t know what that felt like. I had two video stores go out of business when I was barely 30 thanks to Blockbuster. I became unemployed, I sold appliances to make ends meat. Then the big break with the WWE–-my problems were solved. That was until I found myself on the road every week, in a strange hotel room by myself, feeling totally alienated from my family, and the few friends I still had. You know the rest—WCW-–Bash at the Beach-–TNA—and the absolute scrutiny that goes with the professional wrestling business. As the years passed, the depression just always seemed to get worse, I never felt good, and just always had thoughts of dying. That is hard for me to type here–-but, it’s the truth. Then, when I walked away from TNA nearly 2 1/2 years ago–-it just hit rock bottom for me. There was just no place left to go in a business that I had worked in for 20 years. I prayed every night that God just allow me to see the next day, and it was only through his grace that I did. As I sit here typing this right now, right this minute–-I’m in the same exact place.
I share all this with you, because I know that many of you are in a similar situation. Life sucks, it really does, and unless you structure your existence set on a solid foundation–-life will get you–-it will destroy you. I’m not going to insert God here, that is your choice. I wasn’t a believer until well into my 40s. I get the doubt–-I understand. What this is about is those around you who can save you. Who can make you feel like you are somebody, like you are special, like you are wanted. All our lives are infested with people who bring us down, who take advantage of our good nature, who take us for granted, who at the end of the day can’t give you a “thank youâ€, or a, “you are appreciatedâ€. And the sad thing is–-that doesn’t cost anybody anything. It is just there for all of us to give.
If nothing else, as you go through your day tomorrow, really look closely at those who are around you–-who are part of your life. Are they helping you? Are they building you up? Are they giving you their unconditional love without wanting a single thing back in return? Because, if they aren’t–-then what are they there for? If they aren’t there to make you a better person by the time the sun sets–then what exactly are they adding to your life? Nobody needs people around them that are going to bring them down–-nobody. Just today, I took a long look around at my surroundings and I asked myself–-who in my life TRULY gives a shit about me? Truly? My wife, my kids, my dog, my parents–-who else? Who has lifted me up today? Who has made me feel like a total failure? Who really has an interest in my well-being–-and is not completely obsessed with their own? WHO?
It saddens me to know the truth, and it depresses me. That’s why I have to wake up tomorrow morning and NOT BE THAT PERSON. I have to touch base with those I know who need to hear from me. I have to put others first–-no matter how difficult that is simply because it’s not in our nature. I have to be the example. It has to start with me. But, I’m not going to do it surrounded by those who don’t make me feel “specialâ€, who make me feel like a failure, insignificant–-nothing.
If you have people like that in your life–-you don’t need them. While at the same token–-you can’t be one of them either. Love and respect those around you–-every second, of every day, because in that very moment–-you may be the one turning their darkness into light.
</div>
