what the fuck do I do?

[AKI Man]

Ok, I am not looking for stupid replies! This is serious, this is life changing. So please be honest and I am posting this for support!

At home things are hard. We are living at my missus parents home and to put the record straight... I love my daughter and will always be there for her, no matter what!!

However, the love more so from my part towards my partner is thinning and I am feeling alone and my conntection to her is fading. I am getting a lot of attention females at work via customers and staff and am starting to see a brighter light that maybe I need to go for what makes me happy and go with my feelings. I am good friends with a colleague at work who knows a lot about what's happening to me at home atm and she says I need to do what is right for ne. My missues is kinda immature and does not take advie when it comes to money and planning for the future and spends more money than what we are tsaking in! Its killing me as I don't earn much and never treat myself to anything. I am usually covering her back and taking the brunt of the shit from her parents.

I meet someone at work, who was a customer and nothing happened, but we connected and looked at each other like we both loved each other!

I'm seriously confused and lost atm. The lady I spoke to, made me feel special. More than my missus has ver had! I think I'm falling for her! I'm in tears, cause this is killing me and taking the wrong turn may destroy my chances of being a father! I am a wonderful dad to my daughter and love her more than life itself!

What do I do friends? This is not AKI Man. This is Armando. Your friend.

 

[Cue]

Damn serious right there bro!

As your colleague says. Do what's right for you. The question is "what's right?". This is where you have to make a choice bro. Personally, I don't think there's anything right for both you and your missus since you said your feelings toward each other are fading.

If you stay with her, you get to keep your family and your daughter's happiness but you will gradually hurt yourself.

If you leave her, you probably won't be able to bring your daughter with you, right? Then what would your little girl be without you?

You say it looks like you've found a new love. Do you really believe you won't be deceived? If you leave your family, there is a chance you will lose everything.

I think the best option right now is to be harder toward your missus and teach her life and keep the distance between you and that special friend of yours.

But if you really can't stand it any longer, then you need to leave bro. It doesn't matter if you have found a new love. You can't go on like that. Even leaving alone is better. You may go back to see your daughter once in a while. I know it won't be enough for a father like you but you can't keep hurting yourself. Stresses like this can make you go suicidal bro. It's that serious.

 

[feetlove999]

The only advice I can give you is to talk to your wife and try and work things out. Being honest with your feelings is always the best, and if you two have to grow apart, then so be it (you'll always be a daddy to your little girl, even if you don't end up living together with your wife anymore). But I think talking things out is a lot better than succumbing to temptation and potentially losing everything you have.

I hope you feel better, Armando.

 

[Tired]

You may not want to hear this, but you have to leave the woman you met at work alone. Even if you and your wife did seperate, she will always be "that b*tch that tore your marriage apart". And there is no way to explain to your wife, her family, your parents, and even YOUR DAUGHTER that this is not true.

Right now, you are not feeling the love in your marriage. And when you are in a relationshop like that, any positive attention from other females feels more meaningful. So you have to be careful. Are these things that you are feeling a connection, or just attention?

You say that your love is fading. But did you ever love your wife? If that loved her once, it is worth trying to see if you still do. Right now, you feel like you couldn't work any harder. Chances are, you are working more on the partnership than the relationship. Try to find the love YOU once had for your wife. If you can find it, it will be so much easier to find hers again.

Give me a moment to tell this anecdote. You will see the connection near the end:

I have been engaged, but never actually married. I live in shared accomodation. A few months ago, a German student moved in with me to attend a nearby university. For the first 2 days, she and her father went sight-seeing. But once he left, she barely left her room. She basically lived on cereal and sandwhiches made in her own room. She only came out to go to class or the bathroom. We went days without ever seeing one another. I assumed that she was uncomfortable living with a guy she didn't know. But as long as my housemates paid their share of the costs, and didn't cause trouble, I couldn't care less what they did.

But this time was different. I started calling past her bedroom to see if she was adjusting to the area okay. Then I started offering to pick up stuff when I went food shopping. Inviting her out when I went. Tried to get her to meet some of my friends in the hope that she would make some of her own. But she politely and consistantly turned me down. But I kept trying. I did my damnedest to get to know the person I was living with, but she was giving me nothing. I was getting frustrated.

So I tried harder. Next thing I know, she said, "I am running low on bread. Would you be able to get me some? If it's no trouble?". Then it was, "Okay, I'll come too. Just give me a minute to get a jacket.". Then it was, "I've made too much pasta. Do you want the rest?". And "Your friend Rachel invited me to a social. Do you want me to see if she could give you a lift too?".

Other housemates came and went. But she and I started looking out for each other instinctively. If I leave a dirty glass sitting, she will wash it without a word of complaint. I'm used to British weather, but I would know when she is cold and would just put the heating on for a little while. It came to a point that our friends and housemates can't imagine us apart (although we are a lot of the time).

Nearly 2 weeks ago, we realised that we weren't just friends. We were in a relationship. And we were both happy with that.

The love we had for each other came from not just friendship, but hard work. And I am sure that you can find the love you once shared with your wife if you worked hard too. For a while, it will feel like you are working for nothing. But if you are trying hard enough to make her feel your love, then she eventually will. And if I am wrong, then you will both have your proof that you were not meant to be. That way, it will be easier to part.

As for the trouble she is getting into, be realistic about it. Is it something that needs an intervention? Then keep trying to talk to her. And if you need to, ask her parents to help. Ultimately, they want what is best for their daughter and granddaughter. And if they are any kind of people at all, they will help you to help your own family.

Hope it works out for you man.

 

[TheDoctor]

Check your pm bro.